official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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