I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
