i just google imaged poop.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
