LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
