wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
