I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
