Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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