even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize