I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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