i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
