OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize