You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
