he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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