Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
