this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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