The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
