The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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