Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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