So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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