Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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