You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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