dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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