Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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