I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
