I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
