how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize