I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
