so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
