we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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