Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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