Only a mothe r could love this liver
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
