Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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