mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
