i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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