I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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