i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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