Welp...herpes.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize