If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
