im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
