Define "chronic" masturbator.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
