I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
