Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize