Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We left the knife in your bed.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
