found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
