Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My hand turned me down
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize