Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
