too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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