so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
