I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
