Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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