Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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