Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
