I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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