I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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