totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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