She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
