i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
