summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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