Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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