Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
