beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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