So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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