Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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