i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
